I went to change someone’s life, but my life got changed instead

Charanjit Singh – Child/Youth Health Program Coordinator

I like to walk the talk so I was challenging myself that I need to volunteer too. So I looked into our hospice program and they had a client that they wanted to see if I would go and visit him. So I am like, “Sure, I am happy to make a change in someone’s life.” And I started to visit him and his wish was to visit the Sikh temple once a week on Saturday mornings. “Yes, sure, I can definitely drive you there.” And there was one catch, he wanted to go at 7 a.m. on Saturdays. So I was like, “OK, yes, I can manage that.” And so we started doing it. So I got to tell you, on some Friday nights coming home from work or had a party or something, I was like, man, I don’t think I’d be able to wake up tomorrow morning. Maybe I should just call him. Then there was one time that I actually did call, I was just so tired, and I was hoping we could skip tomorrow. I called and the phone was ringing and I was feeling so bad and I was thinking maybe I should hang up and then he picked up. He’s like, “Hello,” I am like, “Uncle, it’s Charanjit,” and he said, “Oh, Charanjit, I was looking forward to tomorrow and I just can’t wait.” And I was like, oh man, I guess I see you tomorrow. And I hung up and when I go there he would stand on his curb and he was having such a smile on his face. And he just lit right up and that would be my sunrise in the morning. And I remember driving him there and seeing how much gratitude he had, how much appreciation he had just so I can accompany him. It’s really something I never forget. I always think to myself that I went to change someone’s life, but my life got changed instead.

Click play to hear a full interview with Charanjit below: 

My mother died a good death

Anita Stern – Nurse – Navigator – Palliative Care Team

We took them to a psychiatrist because at first, I thought maybe I am crazy. Like, what is this that I am searching for that I don’t have and that I believed to be different? The psychiatrist said, “Well, let me meet the children and then meet your husband.” So the kids came to the office with my husband at the time and she said to them. “Now, describe your mother to me. And now describe your father.” My second child said to the psychiatrist, “You see that book on the shelf? That’s my father. You see the paper scatter across your desk? That’s my mother.” And I thought, what a brilliant analogy! And so at the end of this conversation, the psychiatrist said, “So I hear you said you don’t really understand why your parents are together and that they are really so different that they would be happier on their own parenting you.” And that’s how it ended.

Click play to hear a full interview with Anita below: 

I was an at-risk teenager

Annakim Ffrench – Youth Service Navigator

I was an at-risk teenager. Got pregnant when I was 15 and I had my son when I was 16 so at that point, it was like I faced a lot of challenges. Going to school. I was still in high school. I went to school straight up until my due day. My son came two weeks late and I was still in school. Teachers told me to go home but in my mind, I had this fear of not being successful because that was what society labeled that population as people that have children at the young age are less likely to be successful. That’s not 100% true because I know that I came above those odds but for me, it was challenging.

Click play to hear a full interview with Annakim below: 

He wanted to die at home

Coral Konatowski – Client – Palliative Services

You’ve got to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. I didn’t take that and use it very well. I wasn’t good at taking care of myself. I didn’t care for myself. It was more about him. You have to take care of yourself before you take care of someone else, you have to nourish yourself. You know you just have to be there for them. They go through all those stages and I think you do a little bit too. The anger and then the hurt, and you know this is going to happen, and then you don’t realize until they are gone. I think you get prepared for it too, so when he passed, I was very prepared so I didn’t even cry at the time when he was cremated. But it creeps up on you as time goes by. The loneliness and then somehow you just get through it.

Click play to hear a full interview with Coral below: 

Having pity for them doesn’t make them feel great

Rashme Nanda – Volunteer – Child/Youth Health Program

We were sitting in the lecture hall at the end of class and he said, “Nobody listens anymore.” And I am like, “What do you mean?” Then he said, “Nobody really listens to anybody. They just kind of listen to respond. They don’t listen to understand.” It hit me like a ton of bricks and I think that’s the one thing I can point out that’s kind of instill in myself that I have to actually listen to people.

Click play to hear a full interview with Rashme below: 

I was struggling for my own survival

Debra McGonegal – Fund and Volunteer Development Manager

I was left with three kids, totally unexpected. I had to get back to work and my minister was on the board for Home for Pregnant Teens. I took this position as the volunteer coordinator and I had never felt so valued. All my other work experience seemed so… not worthless, but nothing was as important as these girls gravitating towards me because I understood. I had coped as a single parent and they just loved being around me and I loved helping them. At the end of my contract, they actually got a petition and got people to sign to keep my job, but there was no funding for it. That was where my love for non-profit started. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else after that but working for an organization that doesn’t care about the bottom line as much as how many people they can help.

Click play to hear a full interview with Debra below: 

She had to hold our dead son in her arms

Paula Paunic – Volunteer – Palliative and Bereavement Program – Pregnancy – Infant Loss

The husband at first was a little bit hesitant to share what he was feeling because he felt his grief wasn’t… He kept downplaying his grief, “My grief isn’t as important as my wife’s. She had to carry our son for 21 weeks and be induced and hold our dead son in her arms. I can’t even compare my grief to hers.” And it’s so important in this organization that we let men know that their grief is just as valuable and just as important and the journey of healing is important.

Click play to hear a full interview with Paula below: 

 

I hope my kids could see through my eyes how I look at them

Arujuhna Rajadurai -Youth outreach worker – Tamil community

My grandmother used to tell me, “Be truthful to yourself. Be kindful.” She also said, “If you can do that, your life will be a whole.” The other thing she also said is, “Continue studying, continue learning new things because there are always new things to learn. It doesn’t matter if you are 70.” To be successful, that is something she did and her husband, my grandfather, did as well. Looking at those two and seeing how they taught my parents and then looking at them and what they have done, so now I will do the same with my kids. I hope my kids could see through my eyes how I look at them. It’s… it’s so beautiful.

Click play to hear a full interview with Arujuhna below:

Whatever purpose I have in this world, I hope that’s the path I’ve taken

Jacqueline – Volunteer – Palliative Program and Day Hospice

I discovered that it’s not easy to visit the city in a wheelchair. So I started looking for ways. How can we make our visits different? And she explained to me one of her favourite things was going to the beach. And online I found the city has a place for wheelchairs on the beach. Donald D. Summerville Olympic Pools, that’s where we went. I was able to transfer her to another wheelchair and we went to the beach. It was an experience for her. She hadn’t been on the beach for years. She hadn’t felt the sand. The moment we drove the wheelchair onto the beach, I saw her face change and I was able to get out of the wheelchair and she was lying on the sand. And yes, just her closing her eyes and making an angel in the sand, it brought me joy that she was so happy.

Click play to hear a full interview with Jacqueline below: 

Get the heck of out the house!

Clarine Taylor – Client – Adult Day Center Program

Get Wheel Transit. Get the heck of out the house. You know you can’t sit home and do nothing. You’ve got to do something. Because you get atrophy. Everything just gets useless and you’ll never get out of bed. So you don’t want to stay home. You’ve got to get out and do things, no matter what it is. You’re still able to do it, no matter how old you are. I was just reading in the newspaper this morning, a woman who is 80 years old going swimming and everything else. I obviously can’t do that because of my breathing problem, but I would love to. I always like to swim.

Click play to hear a full interview with Clarine below: