I no longer fear death. And I think I know when it’s a good death so that helps me as far as my illness and helps me to be a better person. I’ve gone through two life-theatening diseases, the return of my cancer, but now I am still living. So I think when it comes it comes. I no longer worry about life or death.
It’s not something a teenager or a 20-year-old typically thinks about. That their life will be cut shorter than the average person and so it was something I had to think about. And then, be there for my friends as they experienced all their ailments that eventually took their lives and wonder at the same time when that would happen to me.
Click play to hear a full interview with Novelette below:
It happened. You can’t go back and change it… What is happening tomorrow, I can’t control it. So all I can control is today. It’s very simple. I just said, “I am there for you.” I said I am going to have my downs and my ups but I will always here for you. I have prostate cancer. I have arthritis in my knees and you know, these things happen. So like I said, I am here for you.
Click play to hear a full interview with Emmanuel below:
We took them to a psychiatrist because at first, I thought maybe I am crazy. Like, what is this that I am searching for that I don’t have and that I believed to be different? The psychiatrist said, “Well, let me meet the children and then meet your husband.” So the kids came to the office with my husband at the time and she said to them. “Now, describe your mother to me. And now describe your father.” My second child said to the psychiatrist, “You see that book on the shelf? That’s my father. You see the paper scatter across your desk? That’s my mother.” And I thought, what a brilliant analogy! And so at the end of this conversation, the psychiatrist said, “So I hear you said you don’t really understand why your parents are together and that they are really so different that they would be happier on their own parenting you.” And that’s how it ended.
Click play to hear a full interview with Anita below:
You’ve got to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. I didn’t take that and use it very well. I wasn’t good at taking care of myself. I didn’t care for myself. It was more about him. You have to take care of yourself before you take care of someone else, you have to nourish yourself. You know you just have to be there for them. They go through all those stages and I think you do a little bit too. The anger and then the hurt, and you know this is going to happen, and then you don’t realize until they are gone. I think you get prepared for it too, so when he passed, I was very prepared so I didn’t even cry at the time when he was cremated. But it creeps up on you as time goes by. The loneliness and then somehow you just get through it.
Click play to hear a full interview with Coral below:
I was left with three kids, totally unexpected. I had to get back to work and my minister was on the board for Home for Pregnant Teens. I took this position as the volunteer coordinator and I had never felt so valued. All my other work experience seemed so… not worthless, but nothing was as important as these girls gravitating towards me because I understood. I had coped as a single parent and they just loved being around me and I loved helping them. At the end of my contract, they actually got a petition and got people to sign to keep my job, but there was no funding for it. That was where my love for non-profit started. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else after that but working for an organization that doesn’t care about the bottom line as much as how many people they can help.
Click play to hear a full interview with Debra below:
Today was an interesting day because we had a lady and she was down in the dumps last week. So we bought her a flower, a little plant, and delivered it today. And she cried and cried and cried because nobody has given her plants for a long time. And she thanked us and she said, “You know, last week was my birthday so that’s why I was so upset and down because it was my birthday and I turned 100. I am so happy that you gave me this. Thank you. Thank you.” And at first, she didn’t want to take it because, you know, we all have this reciprocity that if he is giving me something, what do I have to give him back? You know, why is he doing it? We said, “No, we just want to make you happy.” So she embraced the flower, embraced us, and cried. That was today.
Click play to hear a full interview with Frank below:
We weren’t the smartest of men. We were kids living in the world of delusion, hoping to be something famous in all the wrong ways. It was a dark place in my life. People started dying. A friend in high school committed suicide. And yes, it was difficult. I didn’t even go to the funeral. To be honest I didn’t believe it. I didn’t really pay attention to what was happening to others. Yeah, I only cared about my friends who didn’t care about me and in turn made me care about nobody.
Click play to hear a full interview with Randall below:
I used to play the victim role a lot. And I swore the world owed me because I lost my loved one to homicide. So the world owes me and I was going around like that and I didn’t even realize I was comfortable being the victim. And then they showed me my truth. It’s just something I won’t accept because I am not a victim. It is just something that has happened to me. And so here I am, I do a lot of work on gun violence as well within the community. And I can now because I am at a place where I can do that, but I had to help myself first.
Click play to hear a full interview with Michelle below:
One particular client who, she looked so so down, her son had completed suicide, and she looked old beyond her years. She just looked so so depressed. And then I saw a real change in her as the weeks went on. And she was one I encouraged to take the training and she facilitated a group with me and she said to the group, “Heather saved my life.” That to me, was the proudest moment.
Click play to hear a full interview with Heather below: